When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
