we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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