i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
