sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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