hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Fuck appropriateness.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
