I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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