HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
