She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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