I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
