She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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