white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
