Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
