I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
