CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
