these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
