a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
