Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
