as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
