He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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