Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
