I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
