Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
