My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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