normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
