wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
