I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
