I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
be right there i have to get my cape
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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