He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
