is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
