So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
