yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
