If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
