It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Operation Purity has been aborted
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
