sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
