weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
