Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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