I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
