But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
