Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
