I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
