haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
