I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
