I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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