Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
