ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
