summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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