all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
