I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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