I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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