Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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