I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
