he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
