This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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