Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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